the anxieties 101 network of sites
the e-mail connection!
send me an e-mail anytime!
if you have questions, suggestions or just want to say "hey!"
Attention All Parents Please!
Welcome to Children
101 - just one important website that's part of the entire whole 28 sites in the emotional feelings network
of sites! If you have concerns regarding your child, it may be why you're here! If it's your parenting skills you're trying
to locate information on, you may end up here as well! Or - you may have found yourself here thru the underlined link
words method, because you are interested in the process of "attachment" or to learn about your child's mental health!
No matter what you're reason is for being here; they're all good reasons I'm quite positive!
- The single most important factor I would like for you to remember when you leave here, I ask that you do some super in depth
soul searching to see if what I am asking of you is reasonable!
Our children are the earth's most important resource. What becomes of our Mother Earth is what we allow
to be leftover from our generations stay on this planet! We all need to learn how to conserve energy, get educated on recycling
& global warming, and other environmental issues.
We must take the time to take part in what are the most essential responsibilites we all own as
Another concern here is that of our children. Living in today's society there are many things that chidlren
need to be protected from. As their parents, it is our responsibility to keep them safe. Children also need to be educated.
It's been a gradual decline, subtle, and very hard to recognize until we take just a few seconds out of our day to think,
"Why are our children so out of control these days?"
Part of this dilemma remains parental responsibility that isn't being attended to. It's a parents' job to
discipline their children, teach them moral values and character traits. A parent must meet all the needs of their
child(ren). Emotional needs are often left unattended because children aren't born with an instruction manual!
Unfortunately, we have an entire generation - Generation X - coming up as the young adults
of today that have been raised without having their emotional needs met. This and the needs of the current generation
of children is a huge problem that needs to be addressed! Whereas the baby boomers have been busy, "finding themselves," in
recovery and personal growth programs - we have also been busy "making right," the mistakes we found that we'd made in
our parenting efforts.
Re-establishing an emotional relationship with our children, realizing our mistakes and actually apologizing
to our young adult children, and most of all - validating their unmet needs - seems to be important work that is being done
in large numbers by the world's largest generation so far! The baby boomers are huge! They're eagerly learning what their
parents didn't know what to teach them about emotional needs and how to meet them.
I urge all parents that come to this site to begin to study the educational system in your town or city.
Begin to get involved in governmental controls over your child's education. Work in harmony as a volunteer with your child's
school system to ensure quality education in both academic studies and the meeting of your child's emotional needs in
a social situation!
Write letters to our government, go to local city meetings and communicate to your school principal that
you're fed up with the ways teachers are treating your students. With the percentages of bullies out there injuring your
child(ren)'s self esteem - added to the lack of awareness concerning emotional needs among our educators - it's almost a guarantee
that your child is being mortally injured at school every day and you as a parent are amiss in your parental protection of
Study throughout the site and I guarantee that you will become more and more aware of what has to be done
immediately to save not only our children and our society, but our Mother Earth as well!
Many of the articles posted on this website are from source sites
that offer their articles in Espanol!
At the bottom of each page are the source sites listed with a link to
the site. If the article is available En Espanol - you'll see a link to click on for that article! at the source site!
Why some kids grow up to be targets.
The Effective Parent
by Susan A. Haid, BSN, RN, MA
Here are Ten Principles of the Effective Parent:
Offer your children committed love. Let your children know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you love them and you will always
love them no matter what. Make this a clear and consistent message.
2) Become the best educator of your children’s
basic life skills that you can be. This is far more valuable than what you can ever buy them.
3) Teach your children
to trust themselves more than anything else. Keep your children connected to their innate inner navigational equipment. Do
not underestimate the power of self-trust; this is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give your child.
your children reasonable freedom to make choices for themselves. There is only one finer teacher than you are, and that is
life experience itself.
5) Give your children the gift of time to themselves without tv or technology. This opens the
doorway to imaginative play that cultivates a powerful, lasting form of creativity and resourcefulness that serves a child
for a lifetime.
6) Make every effort to offer compassion to your child, even when discipline or consequences are required.
Children are learning and therefore require explanations, education and understanding more than anything else. Make compassion
your best friend.
7) Listen to what your children have to say, even if their words are contradictory. They have a lot
to figure out in a very complex world. Listen and be present.
8) Give your children reasonable, basic responsibilities.
Everyone in a household should contribute to the welfare of the family.
9) Enjoy your children for who they are. As
parents, we have no other responsibility other than to honor and appreciate who our children already are.
whatever you are doing and openly accept and receive your child’s love. Revel in it! Take the time to bask in it as
often as possible. There is no greater gift you will ever receive. Let it heal you.
For helpful information about joyful,
effective parenting and raising empowered children, visit www.lilystruth.com for more.
Susan A. Haid, BSN, RN, MA, is the Author/Producer of the
DVD multimedia package entitled Lily's Truth. She is also the author of two recent books entitled "Lily's Truth" and "Bloom."
She is the mother of three beautiful children dedicated to the journey of spiritual mastery. Her work is lovingly designed
to support children, teens, parents and caregivers in living joyful, sovereign and empowered lives.
Why Fathers Matter to Their Kids
by Judy H. Wright
The family is the foundation of life. It is the basic organization
and where family members learn what is expected of them in life and their part in the scheme of things. It is in the family
setting that children understand their external environment. Young children and teenagers figure out who and what they are
by what they are shown by example as well as being told verbally and non verbally by important adults.
taught by fathers and other male role models, even in the most casual level builds the confidence and self esteem of young
people. The very presence of a dad who cares sends important messages not only about life and society in general, but the
individual child's capabilities and interests is a precious gift. While children of any age and gender benefit from having
a Father figure, it is especially important for boys to have a male role model validate their experiences.
if There Is No Masculine Role Mode Present
It takes a village to raise a child, and if the village is made up of relatives,
great. If not, then form a "tribe" that will care for your children. Involve your children in hobby interests, Sunday School,
sports, scouting and after school activities. Make sure there are safe, strong, and kind men available to teach, mentor and
be-friend the child. They need to see how resilient adults handle life and contribute to make the world a better place.
will be surprised as children are exposed to different people how the child is able to then organize and make sense of the
external and internal experiences and decide if they have power to change the future or if they are a victim of the past.
have mentioned in other articles the value of volunteering as a family in order to meet other families who have similar standards
Good Fathers Keep their Promises
In order to instill trust in others, a mature person keeps their
promises, as much as humanly possible. Kids hear words, but more importantly, they see actions. Fathers and role models encourage
the children of the world by their presence, their interest, and their involvement in their children's lives. it is not so
much what they say, but what they do.
Fathers Predict the Future of their Children
Studies have repeatedly
found that the dad is the most accurate fortune teller of what their children will be. If the man who is the role model or
father figure says; "You are a lazy slob. You are dumb. You will never make it." and other negative messages, the child internalizes
and believes this important authority figure.
However, conversely, if the male authority figure encourages, compliments
and inspires the child to try and to appreciate success, the child grows up confident and courageous.
Give the gift
of Presence, not Presents
If you are a father reading this article, then be present with your children. If you are
not physically able to be present, then write them notes, telephone or send them e-messages which encourage and support them.
Make them the focus of your attention. Be a parent, guide and teacher. Your children are counting on you.
Please go to EncourageSelfConfidence.com for a more complete guide to building your self confidence and that of the children you love.
You will be glad you did.
(c) Judy H. Wright, ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long
as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.
Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright,
family relationship coach and author of over 20 books on family relationships. If your organization would like to schedule
Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.
Thanks for joining our community
of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults.
Advice for Teachers: How to Discipline Without Stress, Punishment or Rewards
by Dr. Marvin Marshall
Young people today come to school with a different orientation
than past generations. Traditional student disciplining approaches are no longer successful for far too many young people.
For example, a parent related the following to me after a discussion of how society and youth have changed in recent generations:
other day, my teenage daughter was eating in a rather slovenly manner, and I lightly tapped her on the wrist saying, "Don't
eat that way."
My daughter replied, "Don't abuse me."
The mother had grown up in the 1960s and volunteered
the point that her generation tested authority but most were really afraid to step out of bounds. She related that her daughter
was a good child and added, "But the kids today not only disrespect authority, they have no fear of it."
of rights for young children - which we should have - it's hard to instill that fear without others claiming abuse.
how can we discipline students, so we as teachers can do our jobs and teach these young children who refuse to learn?
many cases we resort to punishment as a strategy for motivation. For example, students who are assigned detention and who
fail to show are punished with more detention. But in my questioning about the use of detention in hundreds of workshops around
the country, teachers rarely suggest detention is actually effective in changing behavior.
Why detention is an ineffective
form of punishment
When students are not afraid, punishment loses its effectiveness. Go ahead give the student more
detention that he simply won't show up to.
This negative, coercive discipline and punishment approach is based on the
belief that it is necessary to cause suffering to teach. It's like you need to hurt in order to instruct. The fact of the
matter, however, is that people learn better when they feel better, not when they feel worse.
Remember, if punishment
were effective in reducing inappropriate behavior, then there would be NO discipline problems in schools.
of punishment is that the more you use it to control your students' behaviors, the less real influence you have over them.
This is because coercion breeds resentment. In addition, if students behave because they are forced to behave, the teacher
has not really succeeded. Students should behave because they want to - not because they have to in order to avoid punishment.
are not changed by other people. People can be coerced into temporary compliance. But internal motivation - where people want
to change - is more lasting and effective. Coercion, as in punishment, is not a lasting change agent. Once the punishment
is over, the student feels free and clear. The way to influence people toward internal rather than external motivation is
through positive, non-coercive interaction.
7 Things GREAT Teachers Know, Understand, and Do
to Motivate Students to Learn Without Using Punishments or Rewards.
1. Great teachers understand that they are
in the relationship business. Many students—especially those in low socio-economic areas—put forth little
effort if they have negative feelings about their teachers. Superior teachers establish good relationships AND have high expectations.
2. Great teachers communicate and discipline in positive ways. They let their students know what they want
them to do, rather than by telling students what NOT to do.
3. Great teachers inspire rather than coerce. They
aim at promoting responsibility rather than obedience. They know that OBEDIENCE DOES NOT CREATE DESIRE.
teachers identify the reason that a lesson is being taught and then share it with their students. These teachers inspire
their students through curiosity, challenge, and relevancy.
5. Great teachers improve skills that prompt students
to WANT to behave responsibly and WANT to put effort into their learning.
6. Great teachers have an open mindset.
They REFLECT so that if a lesson needs improvement they look to themselves to change BEFORE they expect their students to
7. Great teachers know education is about motivation.
Unfortunately, today's educational establishment
still has a 20th century mindset that focuses on EXTERNAL APPROACHES to increase motivation. An example of the fallacy of
this approach is the defunct self-esteem movement that used external approaches such as stickers and praise in attempts to
make people happy and feel good. What was overlooked was the simple universal truth that people develop positive self-talk
and self-esteem through the successes of THEIR OWN EFFORTS.
If you follow the advice above and in my book "Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards" and you will promote education and social responsibility in a
positive learning environment.
Author's Bio Dr. Marvin Marshall helps teachers learn how to discipline
even the most difficult students without stress, rewards or punishment. Now with his FREE VIDEO you can see in just 90 seconds,
why his student discipline system is so effective. Check out the video now at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/previews/flv/marshall/index.html and don't forget to check out his book, "Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards"
Musings on Adolescence, with a Sense of Adventure
Suzanne Kyra M.A., R.C.C.
Adolescence is the hormonal cracking of
childhood, while bounding into adulthood with hopes of immortality and dreams of doing whatever they wish to do. Adolescents
need adults to be there for them.
Guiding adolescents and supporting their innocence by close, meaningful, committed
connection is vital for their optimal growth into adulthood. Adolescents need many healthy adults and peers to guide, teach,
encourage, enjoy, and love them so they can grow secure, sturdy, healthy roots. It is the adults’ job to model individuation
by being in the background, coming into the foreground when support is needed. Healthy adolescence is a time of leaving and
returning to the family, progressively venturing farther afield.
I Have Learned
... that adolescence is a wonderful
time of life in which we cross the river that separates childhood dependency from adult freedoms and responsibilities. Adolescents
focus on themselves and how they will be in the world. They are more concerned about what brings them meaning and happiness
than what makes others happy. As they are looking into entering the adult world, it can be most overwhelming. Unsupported
adolescents are at high risk of falling through the cracks into unhealthy development, making choices that endanger them,
or choosing relationships that give them a codependent sense of safety. During the time adolescents are learning to stand
on their own and find their way, they need adults’ on-going kindly attention to hear them and be most respectful of
who they are, what they believe, and what they stand for. They need compassion, guidance, healthy feedback, support to actualize
their path, respectful limit setting, love, and compassion.
Musings on Adolescence, With a Sense of Adventure
is a passion for most adolescents who tend to seek out the unexpected and the unknown. How did your parents guide and care
for you during your adolescence? Who of your family and friends were your primary sources of positive learning and support?
What memories stand out for you during your adolescence? How do those memories affect you today? What vows did you make during
that time that you still live by? Which of these vows about yourself and your life do you wish to change, if any?
May you consider how applicable the promises and decisions you made to yourself as an adolescent are now. Then gently
re-examine their rightness in your present life. Allow yourself to let go of what does not work for you, and move forward
with a fresh start. By doing this you may experience a breakthrough.
My commitment to being kind, interested, and
supportive to all adolescents’ well-being is ...
The above is an excerpt from Welcome Home to Yourself: A therapist
and photographer explore the meaning of life through individual lenses—a mother and son’s journey published in
2008 by Relationships Matter Publishing Inc. www.suzannekyra.com
Suzanne Kyra is a Registered Clinical Counselor, self-empowerment specialist,
workshop leader, international speaker, consultant, and clinical supervisor at the Psychology Clinic with Simon Fraser University,
B.C., Canada. She is the author of the award winning book, Welcome Home to Yourself, which is about living authentically in
harmony with self and nature. Kyra has over three decades experience in all areas of human development, and is an expert in
developmental stages, parenting, intimate relationships, and abundant living.
Are you as a parent perpetuating favoritism with your children?
Posted Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:14
By Eric Weinberg
My son Benjamin is three and a half. He’s an unbelievably
sweet, smart, Spider-Man-obsessed kid who wakes up smiling, and goes to bed asking me to lie next to him in the dark and tell
him the story I made up about a monster who uses lemons and oranges and cherries and grapes and blueberries to make giant
rainbows in the sky. (And sure, it occurs to me now that I’ve been sending my son to bed every night dreaming
of an artistically-inclined gay super-icon, but there’s really no way to put that genie back in the bottle.) We’re
not religious people, but I think I can speak for my wife, Hilary, and I when I say we feel really blessed to have Ben.
So, that said, I want to talk about my second favorite son, Julian.
When I say I don’t love Julian as much as Benjamin, I’m
really saying I don’t know him as well: He’s younger, his personality isn’t as well formed, we haven’t
spent nearly as much time together. Plus, his head looks like a lightbulb. To be fair, it’s not like the
day Ben was born I loved him as much as I do now; I mean, I’m not crazy, or his mom. Point being, if I’m
throwing a party, Ben gets an invite before Julian.
But back to how Julian’s the wrong sex and probably not
mine: See, whenever I thought about having children, I imagined a boy and a girl; it just seemed normal to me.
For instance, I’m a boy and my sister’s a girl. And, sure enough, Hilary’s second pregnancy felt different
than her first one. Hil and I had this great idea—well, copied this great idea—of having our doctor reveal
the sex of our baby to us on a card, which we’d open over a romantic dinner. (Our romantic dinner was eaten at
home, half-standing at the kitchen island while we went through junk mail, but I’m not saying that’s mandatory.)
Anyway, we opened the card to make it official, and it said, “Congratulations—it’s a boy!” And,
just like that, all the air left my body. Not in a farty way; I mean I was devastated. We had a boy, we had a
great boy, what did we need another boy for?
Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but I am Jewish. So I’ve
obsessed over this long enough to know that my desire for a baby girl probably goes back to me feeling a tad screwed-over
by my older sister while I was growing up. (For the record, we’re friends now, which I hope is encouraging to
eight-year-olds everywhere.) As a kid it made me wish I had a younger sister, who I’d be far nicer to, and as an adult
it made me wish I could have a little girl of my own to cuddle, to counsel, to connect with in the way that other fathers
– my best friends, in fact – do with their daughters, just as mothers do with their sons. See, people always
talk about that special relationship between a father and daughter; what they hardly ever talk about is that special relationship
between a father and someone else’s daughter. And, sure, I get that it’s no one’s idea of a classic
May-December romance, but there’s a certain bond you have with someone whom you’ve known since she pronounced
that word “Dethember.”
Of course, when Hil was actually giving birth to Julian, all
I was thinking was, Just be healthy. And maybe have a vagina. Not in addition to a penis, because… anyway,
just be healthy. And he was healthy. He looked nothing like me, but I blew right past that until I had to tell
the doctor my blood type, and he said, “Well, either you’re wrong, or he’s not your child.”
I blew past that, too, and as the weeks and months went by, I kept waiting for something, anything, familiar to show up in
my second son. Instead, he just kept looking like some odd combination of my wife and… someone too ugly for her
to have slept with. “Maybe you should get a blood test,” Hilary would joke with me. And we laugh,
awkwardly. Friends trotted out something like, “He really has your, um… expressions,” because it’s
a nice thing to say, like, “I love your house,” or “I didn’t realize you were that old.”
Yet, oddly, over time, I’ve grown accustomed to Julian’s face. Sometime last year I said, “Hey, handsome,”
and then he and I both did a double take when we realized I wasn’t being sarcastic.
So, the upshot is, I have two boys. The Weinberg boys.
As in, “Mom, can the Weinberg boys come over?” Or, “No arrests have been made, but local police are
questioning the Weinberg boys about their parents’ disappearance.” And the thing is, Julian is such a boy:
He grabs fistfuls of hair out of your scalp, he gashes himself over his eye and doesn’t blink. And whereas when
you pull Ben’s hair back he almost has a pretty girl’s face, when you pull Julian’s hair back he just kind
of looks like… well, suppose Andy Richter had chemo.
The truth is, love comes in all sorts of ways. With Julian,
well… I don’t want to brag, but he pursued me. Big time. He made me fall completely in love with him.
And it’s not just a crush, it’s the real thing, I can feel it.
Excerpted from "The Other One," by Eric
Weinberg. Weinberg is just one of several very funny - and honest - writers sharing true stores and parental confessions in
"Afterbirth: Stories You Won’t Read in Parenting Magazines," edited by Dani Klein Modisett (St. Martin’s Press,
source site: click here
from Newsweek Online!
what can you find here, @ children 101?
Acontinuing resource of mental health info for children only...
....beginning in the womb, it's all explained. the latest info concerning the mental health issues facing children today. you may have been linked to this site from any of
the anxieties 101 network of sites if the subject came up. this site features the most information however, concerning our
little ones. see the navigational menu for the age group you are interested in.
Anxiety Disorders & Depression in Children
from sources such as the National Institute for Mental Health & other very reliable sources
on the internet - each page pays special attention to the mental illnesses that can be experienced by our children.
what is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder?
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Attention Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder, ADHD, is one of the most common mental disorders that develop in children. Children w/ADHD have impaired functioning
in multiple settings, including home, school & in relationships w/peers. If untreated, the disorder can have long-term
adverse effects into adolescence & adulthood.
it's time to get to work on those problems - perhaps counseling
or medication will be used for a treatment plan...
Counseling for Children: descriptions of therapy methods that may be used if your child sees a mental health
This page includes:
Choosing a Therapist for your
Child's Emotional or Behavioral Problems! (from kidshealth.com - a very thorough article concerning what to look for
& expect from a mental health professional & much more about the topic!)
kids have emotions & feelings
are you to teach your children about what they are feeling & how to deal with the emotions that they experience daily?
A more "in depth" look at how children are affected by their emotions & feelings & how to teach
them the positive coping methods needed to grow up mentally healthy.
This page includes:
Finding a Therapist for your Child's Emotional & Behavioral Problem
(straight from kidshealth.com - one of the best on the web - information in making wise & informed
decisions concerning this very important topic!)
Childhood Abuse & Neglect
are very common
parent needs to be aware of their responsibility of raising their children in a respectful manner.
Along with being aware of your child's well being, being a watchdog for those children who have no caring or responsible parents
or guardian over them - being aware of abuse & neglect in other children is of utmost importance.
This page includes:
Media Article: Many Abused Kids Don't Get Mental Health Services from Medline.com (Reuters News)
Descriptions of Abuse
& Neglect: a comprehensive overview for you to familarize yourself with the facts concerning abuse & neglect with
children, statistics concerning abuse & neglect & more - sources include: Medline.com,
Children with Special Problems
Celebrate Your Child's Uniqueness
by Nicholas Tan
Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique
in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are
shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As
a loving and nurturing parent, it’s your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual
Allow your child to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre,
dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to embrace what they like to do, what
interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don’t need to worry about being ‘like everyone
Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits
they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote
a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm yet fair when handing down discipline for misdeeds or misbehaviors, and
make certain the rules and consequences for breaking the rules are clearly defined. Show a cooperative, loving and united
front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.
Accept and celebrate your child's uniqueness. Remember that your
child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different
from your own.
And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show your child how to
make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show your child that
mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them.
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