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Bragging and Showing Off
by Teresa, The CuteKid™ Staff
At a young age children learn to say, "Look at me" or "Watch
me." Many love to have an adult's attention. I stood behind a man and his four-year-old daughter when I was waiting to vote.
She immediately introduced herself to me. Then she proceeded to do somersaults and cartwheels on the grass while calling "Watch
me." But at what point does a child's showing off turn into a problem?
When children are young they tend to tolerate
other children's showing off. They either ignore the behavior or gather around the child showing off. As a parent we encourage
our young children to be proud of their accomplishments. The first time my daughter peed in the potty I had her call her dad
and grandma to receive their praise. According to Dr. Marvin Berkowitz, a professor character education, boasting among preschoolers
is healthy.
"One of the most important tasks for a child is to develop a sense of herself as a causal agent -- that she
is successful and can make things happen.�
Children are told by their parents that they can do things and they
accept the fact. They are also more than willing to tell anyone that will listen that they can count to 10, shoot a basket,
or know their full name. They don�t understand that they might hurt someone else�s feelings by celebrating their
own accomplishments.
Experts say that it is fine to let your child express delight in their own accomplishments, as
long as they aren�t doing so because they feel pleasure in being able to do something better than someone else. Your
response as a parent can help teach your child to be sensitive to other children�s feelings.
As they get older
their reasons for child�s bragging change as well. If a child is showing off significantly more than her peers it may
mean that she doesn�t get enough approval from her parents. So she boasts about herself to feel valued. Some children
may brag about themselves because they are unsure of themselves and want to be accepted. On the other hand it could mean that
the child receives too much praise and feels that boasting about herself is just fine.
But as children grow they need
to learn that constantly bragging and showing off are no longer acceptable. Children will ignore and dislike those that are
constantly boasting about their own skills and showing off the things that they can do.
As a parent you can help a
child that has a habit of boasting by increasing their self-confidence. Help them realize that they do have worth independent
of what anyone else thinks. Praising your child in private will help him realize that he does not need to boast of his own
accomplishments. Point out how their bragging might hurt other children's feelings. You might try role-playing with your child
with you doing the bragging so he can understand how his bragging appears to others.
Bragging is something that most
children engage in, but as they get older it is important that they understand that bragging and showing off are not appropriate.
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Teaching Your Kids How to Make Friends
by Jean Tracy, MSS
Is your child lonely, sad, or angry? Would you like to teach
your child how to make friends? If you don’t know how, I’ll share the secrets here.
First you need to know
that research tells us the average child spends 25 hours in front of the TV each week.TV characters become their “friends”
and their role models.
Speaking about role models, I remember teaching a new class of first graders. Everyone, except
two little boys, was sitting tall in anticipation of story time. The two boys were rolling around slugging it out on the floor
in the back of the room.
“Boys, what are you doing,” I asked. “We’re fighting. He’s Tom
and I’m Jerry. You know, in the cartoon,” said the boy on top. “Don’t worry,” said the other.
We do this all the time.”
Parenting Tip - Why These Kids Don’t Have Friends
Years later, as a child
and family counselor, parents brought me their sad, angry and lonely kids.
These kids had one thing in common, “Nobody
liked them. They had no friends.” They didn’t know how to make friends either. I’d ask them how they spent
their time. “TV,” they’d answer.
I worried about these kids.
One day, while at my in-laws,
I shuffled through their bookcase and picked out a book that opened my eyes. Suddenly, I knew how to help these kids. Can
you guess which book?
“How to Win Friends and Influence People”
It was Dale Carnegie’s “How
to Win Friends and Influence People.” I knew I could bring these social skills down to a child’s level. I knew
I could help parents teach the ideas in this book to their kids
But some parents said, “I don’t have time,”
until I asked them, “Do you take your kids to games, music lessons, and doctor appointments? Do you eat dinner together?
Do you put your kids to bed at night? Because if you do, you may have more time than you think.” So, parents, how do
you teach social skills?
Parenting Tip - Role Play Social Skills with Kids
Yes, you role play. You and your
child practice acting out a scene with a social skill your child needs to learn. Your child becomes the youngster he wants
as a friend. Then switch roles. Do this several times.
Parenting Tip - Use Charts to Help Your Kids Make Friends
Make
a chart with the social skill he’s learning. At the top it might say, “My goal is to practice smiling and being
upbeat with everyone I see.” Give your child a star each time he tells you how he was friendly.
Each week teach
your child a new social skill. Role play it at home. Tell your child, “Practice at school, in the neighborhood, and
at sports practices." Add his new social skill to his chart too.
Can you see how simple it is to role play? Can you
see role playing a social skill in the car, at dinner, or at bedtime? Can you imagine how happy your child will feel making
friends?
Conclusion for Teaching Your Kids How to Make Friends
Start teaching social skills today. Practice
them yourself. If you do, you’ll raise a friendly child and you’ll enjoy being friendlier too.
Author's Bio
Jean Tracy, MSS, invites you to receive 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you subscribe
to her parenting newsletter at KidsDiscuss.comWant more social skills to teach your kids? See my video and receive 50 social skills to choose from at Social Skills Kit for Kids. Watch your kids build fun friendships. Feel their happiness too.
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